I'm so hungry, I could really use a laptop

I don't claim to be the smartest man in the world, but I'm pretty sure you can't eat a laptop. There was a project a couple of years back that somebody was working on to get laptops into the hands of children in third world countries. The idea was to make a laptop that only cost $100 so that they could just hand 'em out and it would be cool. Back then I scoffed at the idea saying it was one of the most stupidest ideas I've ever heard. "Those kids don't want laptops" I said. "Those kids want food!"

Here we are years later and their dream has become a reality. They all can have laptops. Wait...what? That's right. Amazon apparently has this thing where you can buy a laptop for some third world country kid and you get a laptop for yourself. That's awesome. Now I'm not going to claim that I've actually bothered to read about the details of this whole program, but I can tell you just from concept alone that it is just as stupid as it was when I first read about it 2 years ago. I find it hard to believe that these kids are hankerin for a laptop. There's commercials on TV showing these underprivelaged kids from like Uganda with their laptops balanced on their head (I don't know how much more offensive you could be) and then they say to the camera "My laptop is wicked rad! Now I can learn stuff!" Ok. Number one, where are you getting your internet connection to learn stuff? Is Uganda a wireless country? Little known fact...number two, really? God, I'm so hungry...I could really use a laptop right now. Let me do a google image search for food (the picture above is the first result by the way)...oh man I'm so full from looking at pictures of food. Anybody else want to use my laptop to look at sweet pictures of food? It's so delicious. It's way better than actually eating. Thank you, Amazon, for providing me with my awesome new laptop.

I'm not sure why we made it a priority to get these kids laptops instead of spending that money on food. I mean, they never did get a hang of the $100 laptop which means that they're spending over $100 and according to Sally Struthers, you can feed a family of 12 for 3 cents a day. So instead of a laptop, you could have fed the entire country for the next decade. I'm just saying...misappropriated funds.

It all goes back to my central theme : People are stupid.

I never would have allowed this to happen. But since it's too late, is there any way I can convince these people to send ME a laptop? I'm pretty hungry right now...