Driving Down the 101

I would never drive down the 101 if I could avoid it. Sorry if that's a confusing title. This is, however, about driving. Some guy gave me the lookaway finger last week. And it really bothered me. I was driving home from work and the lanes merged, without warning (because California doesn't believe in posting signs for important things), and so I had to slow down so as not to hit the dude. It wasn't anything drastic. I never even came that close to actually making contact and he continued driving at the exact same speed he had been going and I did not affect his route at all. Then as we parted ways, I looked out my window to see him giving me the finger. But he wouldn't look in my direction. Number one, I didn't do anything wrong. If anyone should get the finger it's California. Number two, if you're going to give me the finger, have the courage to stand behind it. Don't be a complete pansy about it. I'm not going to shoot you. Hell, I didn't even give him a rude gesture back. Unless you count enthusiastic waving as rude. I guess since I was mocking him it was rude. But he didn't even look at me to see it. And it really ruined my day. It's stupid, I know. But little things like that annoy me. The moral of the story is, if you're ever driving next to me and feel the need to flip me off, have the decency to look me in the eye when you do it. Pansy.

Which leads me to something else very important. I'm about to compile a list of things that irritate me about driving. It's in no particular order. And it's probably going to be incomplete and I'll give myself the finger for leaving stuff out when I think of it later. But here we go...

• People that drive in the evening/night without lights on. It's not just a danger to everyone around you, but how can you even see?
• People that take a left hand turn after the light has turned red when they're not even in the middle of the intersection. If you read the California driving hand book, you'll see that you're not even supposed to enter the intersection unless you see a space in which to turn...but since I think that's stupid and you'd never get to make a turn, I'll let that much slide. But when you're behind the crosswalk, the light turns red, and you still think you get to go...nuh uh. Eff you.
• Driving 5 mph and more under the speed limit. I get it. You like to drive slow. Get the heck out of my way. You're not supposed to go over the speed limit, you shouldn't be allowed to go that far under it either.
• Doing that same thing in the left lane. It's the passing lane. If you're not passing, don't drive there.
• People that speed up when you try to pass them. So many times, a jerk will be going too slow in the passing lane, so I will reluctantly switch lanes to get around them. And no sooner do I do that that they decide to speed up. Don't toy with me, junior.
• People that honk their horns for any reason other than impending doom. If you're not about to die, don't pollute the air with your incessant noise. It doesn't make anything go faster. Ever.
• People that refuse to merge until the last possible second even though there's 3 miles worth of "right lane ends. merge" signs.
• People that refuse to let you merge so you end up being one of the people above.
• It's called a turn signal. Use it.
• It's called a turn signal. Turn it off. (that's what that loud clicking is that, for some reason, won't stop no matter how loud you make your music)
• People that cut you off and immediately slam on their brakes.
• People that cut you off at 3 mph.
• People that parallel park leaving just enough space between them and the car in front of them so that you can't fit in.
• When the above happens down an entire street adding up to dozens of potential parking spaces wasted.
• Californians driving in the rain. You do NOT need to go 20mph in a 50mph zone.
• People that stop on crosswalks rather than before them.
• People that don't turn on their lights when it's raining. You know it's the law to have them on when you are using your windshield wipers, right? (not that that would EVER be enforced)
• People that slam on their brakes when they see brake lights 2 miles ahead.
• People that ride their brakes around corners.
• Intermittent brakers.
• People that take 20mph off their speed to go down a hill. You're allowed to brake. But not that much. It's not as safe as you might think. Particularly for the people driving behind you.
• People that honk their horn (yes I know I already said for everything except dying) half a second after the light turns green if you haven't moved.
• People that take 5+ seconds to react to a green light.
• People with blinders on. There's more to the road than what's directly in front of you.
• Speaking of which...people that don't yield to pedestrians (not the ones that randomly cross in the middle of the street whenever they feel like it. they deserve to get hit. I mean the ones in the crosswalk at the appropriate times).
• People that break as many traffic laws as possible and never get pulled over.

There you go. That's all I can think of at the moment. I think of a lot when I'm driving every day because people in California like to remind me every day just how terrible driving can be. Thanks guys!